| Another cold Atx night.... |
[Mar. 10th, 2007|12:20 am] |
Since I've let this journal languish in very rare posting...and somewhat alienate myself from anyone else who might read it otherwise I figure I can somewhat post freely here, and possibly feel better.
I remember a time when I went to a home, and was greeted by many friends.
I self-destructed for a little while, and turned away plenty of those friends.
Now I don't venture much outside the house, because I those who I would venture with are either scattered to the winds, contact with them has languished to a sad point, or could care less whether I was alive or dead.
I rather regret that last one. That person was once a great friend.
I would try to make myself more well-known with many of those, but it just seems so far gone at this point that those first steps are rather difficult. I just sit there and feel out of touch with everything. It's like walking into a interest group that gets together not knowing anyone, and playing wall-flower. It's really really uncomfortable, and frankly I don't enjoy myself around so many of those old friends any more. It's not them. It's me. I think it's because that although much of my life is put back together, functional, stable, with direction and promise, something at my core feels wrong.
I don't enjoy being so isolated. And that's really it isn't it? I live a totally insular life. I can really see why Evan went through that hermit phase. The difference between his hermitage and mine being that people would still try to contact him, and pull him out from time to time.
Maybe I've changed enough that I'm outgrowing those old friendships...
I have but I don't think I've changed THAT much, maybe it's that I'm tired of the past...
Perhaps when I finally start the career, move to a different place, get somewhat settled, and move forward....
Yeah. I think I might have just stumbled on it. I have to move forward. And *part* of that is moving, getting settled, and meeting new people. At that point, I might not feel so awkward and self-conscious.
I've been in the same rut for about 3 years now, and I need more than just exploring a little in Austin. I'm tired of being working poor, in my parents house (as gracious and supportive as they have been), and not flying professionally.
Well, look at that, I do feel a little better.
It still wouldn't hurt to get out once in a while. I had made some dead-end calls tonight, maybe one of them will give me a call back.
I miss my friends.... and I wish a few more than one would miss me. (And yes, I know you get what you give.) But tomorrow is another day, and I will fly this week which always feels great.
To all of those whom I miss and care about, even after everything, I wish you peace, joy, and good fortune. (And if you happen to have read this to the end, and wind up talking to one of our mutual aquaintances who doesn't read this anymore, let them know that the above wish has always been true, and that I still think about my friends fondly. All of them, past and present.) |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2006|11:29 pm] |
"Happy birthday to me ... happy birthday to me."
*Raises glass*
I hear ya "Hey-zeus." Bottoms up. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 2nd, 2006|10:55 pm] |
Today was just one of those days where you want to sit down and wonder why some shit happens.
You go through life, and you try to be the best person you can, to be a responsible person, to be respectful to people, try to do your job to the best of your ability (with pride, dignity, and goodwill), and be a person that you, and others can respect.
Yet, at 22, I can teach people how to fly an airplane, I could be hired by a regional airline, and fly nearly a hundred people across the country. Yet I am far too dangerous to drive someone in a vehicle less than 50 miles at or under the speed limit.
Should I lie cheat and steal my way through life like so many others my age just to meet the status quo? Women want someone who respects them, yet far too often they hook up with someone who only wants them in bed, and could care less that they are a person. (Do these women think these guys are going to change? Or even more foolishly, that they can change them?)
These guys go through college (in business school) to head the companies of the world, so that they can care more about making their company's stock go up 1/2 a point, to make all of the other rich motherfuckers who care more about their fucking money than the wife that's sitting right next to them (who is most likely sticking around to get her credit card so that she can have every little material possesion she could desire to impress her other vapid greedy lifeless friends) and then those stock holders give that executive a BIG FAT bonus, so that he can join the club.
It's almost enough to make you give up, smoke crack, mooch off of your dealer, and hope you don't die a painful death.
Nice guys finish last, because they have the common decency not to screw anyone who offers their genuine help.
Now I'm going to sleep, wake up tomorrow, and try again to make my life the best it can be. Why? Because some people believe that it is better to die knowing that you did the best you can to make the world just a little less shitty, whether or not anyone else ever notices. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 16th, 2006|03:25 am] |
Holy Jeebus. If I was on X during that Ferry Corsten set tonight, I could have died a happy man. GODDDAMN THAT SET WAS GOOD!!!!!!!
I don't think I've ever heard Drum & Bass or Hardcore that loud. I think I'm going to lose consciousness due to exhaustion now. Thanks.
Those that weren't there will never know what experience they missed out on in life tonight. Wow, tomorrow, I'm going to wake up and start spinning records.
-DCB....out. |
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| DJC Konfrence # 2 |
[Mar. 5th, 2006|11:58 pm] |
So yeah, I'm throwin another Electronica House party. This is the "formal invitation" for all of my personal friends who happen to like the music DJ's spin.
It's gonna happen the second Fri of spring break - the 17th - and it's gonna be a good time for anyone involved. If you want in make sure you send me something, comment / email / IM telling me you want in, so I can put you into the RSVP. The last one just about reached capacity, and was great fun.
Otherwise I'm been my usual busy, breakin his balls DCB that everyone knows. I'm going to have a opening slot for performing that night, and I would love to have the support of my friends. Hope to hear from ya.
Here's the abbreviated flyer below:
It is time for another Konfrence.
Because you want to see local talent.
Because DJitalcitizen wants to keep the local scene alive!
Because you just want to play for your friends in the scene without having to deal with a venue dropping you at the last minute.
Or maybe it's just because we have the time, the place, good people, good beats, and you're saying to yourself: Why the hell not?
3.17.2006 @ Private Residence - Austin, TX 10pm till whenever the vibe stops (Probably 4-5am)
We at DJC want to make these events get-togethers for local producers and djs as a chance to display your art, meet others in the scene and have a good time outside of a commercial event. If you want to try playing something new, tag with someone you haven't before, or just to go to a House party that doesn't SUCK, that's what we're here to do.
But who's gonna spin?
Only1dcb (DJitalcitizen), Anominiss (DCS) & Cinder (Drum Logistics / DCS), Dj NaStYbOy (Projekt69), Marc Suarez (WildStyle Phanatiks)...and more TBA.
What's gonna be on the stage? So far, all any good DJ will ever need: 2 1200's and at least a decent 3band 3ch mixer.
You can bring:
BYOB (coolers will be available)
Good attitudes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2006|12:12 am] |
Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral
That is all. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2006|05:24 pm] |
Awww man. The house party was completely crazy off the chain...anything else you can use to describe f*cking awesome.
Choice pics will ensue. |
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| djtialcitizen.com House Party! |
[Jan. 6th, 2006|06:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Extatic | ] |
Alright bitches. Here's how it's goin down.
My place, 9pm Sat, Jan 7th. till we feel like breakin it down.
DJs - Only1dcb, Jay Nicole, Daveed, and more TBA (any locals who want some time on the decks are welcome to it.)
BYOB, no controlled or banned substances on the premises.
RSVPs please. This is gonna be SCHWEEET. SCHWEET I SAY. If you're reading this, you probably know how to contact me.
AWWWW yeah. Djitialcitizen always comes correct! Right Z? |
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| Whoo. |
[Jan. 4th, 2006|12:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
During the fun Staff Inservice at the EISD admin building we had a fun little exercise.
Volunteers were handed a pair of refraction goggles that simulate a .10 BAC, and were then asked to walk a straight tape line.
Anyone who made it to the wall without deviation would win a prize.
Many tried but most fell or got severely off course due to the extreme autonomic differences compared to their visual senses.
I however made it to the end, and won a 2 dolla bill. Perhaps being able to walk a sobriety test line isn't the greatest talent for a A Commercial Bus driver and a pilot?
Oh, and also *currently listening to the end of Batman and Robin the Movie* damn this movie is by far the greatest cimena cheese I have watched in a while. It was almost as bad, terribly written and acted as the orignal 60's Batman movie. *shudder* nyuuuuuugggggghhhh.
Note to self: Find and burn the master copies of that film. |
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devilscabanaboy's journal
